by Esmie Alwaeli
Everyone wants to be somebody now. A content creator, a streamer, an entrepreneur, an influencer, or the next big thing. Everyone has a dream, a brand, a side hustle, or a plan to turn something they love or like into a career. We’re constantly watching people become successful, reinventing themselves and figuring out their entire lives in real time. There’s always something happening, and somehow, it feels like nothing is happening at all.
I think about that a lot. We live in a world where there are more opportunities than ever to become whoever you want to be, but there’s also this constant pressure to actually become that person. It’s not enough to have a job anymore. We’re supposed to have a passion, a side hustle, a five-year plan, and some kind of personal brand. We’re supposed to know what we’re doing with our lives at this point while also making sure everyone knows we’re doing it. And if we don’t know what we want to be? Good luck.
However, it only looks as though everyone else around us already knows. Social media has made it extremely easy to watch thousands of people live completely different lives from our own. One person could be traveling the world, another making money streaming video games, and someone else has apparently figured out the secret to success before turning 22. Meanwhile, there’s you, still trying to figure out what you want to do with your life or if what you’re doing is even working.
I see this in my own life, too. I’m a college student studying communications, drafting stories, working on the radio, and trying to figure out what I want my future to look like. I’m interested in journalism, sports media, broadcasting, and public relations, and there are so many directions I could go. Sometimes, having all those possibilities makes it even more difficult to choose.
We’re constantly thinking about what comes next, what we should be doing to get there, and whether we’re doing enough. When I look around, it feels like everyone else is building or chasing something, so it’s easy to wonder if I’m falling behind or simply just moving at my own pace. But behind who and going where? That’s what really gets me.
Everybody seems to be in such a rush to become something, and it makes me wonder how many people actually stop to enjoy being what or who they are right now. We’re all so focused on the next version of ourselves that we barely have time to figure out the present one. Maybe this is where the idea of a midlife crisis comes in.
We usually associate a midlife crisis with someone reaching a certain age and suddenly questioning everything. But what if that feeling doesn’t necessarily start in middle age? What if we’re constantly experiencing little versions of it because we’re always being shown another life that we could be living?
At 20, you’re supposed to have potential, at 30 you’re supposed to have made something of it, and by 40 you’re supposed to be established. There’s always another milestone, another expectation, and another reason to wonder if you’re doing enough. There are more opportunities than ever to connect, create, and turn your interests into something bigger. However, having a million possibilities can also make you feel like you’re failing at the million things you aren’t doing.
Maybe the problem isn’t that people want too much out of life. Maybe it’s that we’ve made it so difficult to feel like what we have is enough. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to be successful, trying something new, or changing direction, but what happens when the pursuit of becoming somebody takes over the experience of actually being somebody? Maybe a midlife crisis isn’t about buying a sports car at 50. Maybe it’s realizing you’ve spent so much time trying to become the person you thought you were supposed to be that you forgot to ask yourself who you wanted to be in the first place.
It’s possible that question doesn’t have an age limit. If everybody is trying to become something, maybe the real crisis is that nobody feels like they can just be.
